I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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