I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
