too bad you live with your parents still
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
