I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
