you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
