Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
