Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
