just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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