I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
