Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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