I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
false alarm, still single
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
