I haven't been this sober since birth.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
