RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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