one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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