Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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