You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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