the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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