Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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