her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
