I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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