I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
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