Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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