i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
