so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
