Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
