return my video game
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
