Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
