grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
