Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
