I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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