i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
