The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
