so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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