you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
i now understand why vodka
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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