somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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