i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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