Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
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His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
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Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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