So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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