I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize