alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
A+ Viking dick
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
