We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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