If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
