I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
