just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
