I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize