I love black thongs
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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