no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
