I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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