the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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