i don't like sucking hair
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
