it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
