his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
