note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
