hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
