we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
