I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
