Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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