He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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