Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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